D.L. SchizoAuthoress presents...

"Mystery Senshi Theater 30th Century!"
(feat. the Outer Senshi and the baka-tachi of the Dark Kingdom)

****disclaimer****
The fic being torn to shreds in this MST is the property of Sailor Bluestar AKA Crystal-san. It is being used with permission from the original author.

"The Kin Dragons/Pokémon/Sailor Senshi/Dragon Ball Z Mix" can be found at Sailor Bluestar's website, here.

See Episode 1.5 for the usual long disclaimer. It applies to all episodes dealing with Sailor Bluestar's crossover fanfic. [A big thank you goes out to Crystal-san for allowing me to do this! Any insults directed at "Bluestar" by the Outer Senshi are meant as jokes and do not reflect my personal opinion of the original author.]

Any copyrighted material herein is not infringed upon for monetary gain. And I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings by doing this. I may not ask permission to MST your fic, but I will honor all requests by the author (and the author alone) to remove the episode.

This is all in fun! For entertainment purposes only! With that said, enjoy Mystery Senshi Theater 30th Century!
****end disclaimer****

The usual format is being dispensed of for the time being, since the length of each "episode" is increased by a double shot of the meta-crossover. It's all 100% fic-sporking from here to the end of Bluestar's fanfic.

As always, gratitude and love to Shimi. Thank you for putting up with my weirdness and laughing at my stupid jokes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mystery Senshi Theater 30th Century"
Episode 1.6: The Kin Dragons/Pokémon/Sailor Senshi/Dragon Ball Z Mix, Parts One and Two

THEATER OF DEEP, DEEP HURTING

Hi, this is Sailor Bluestar. This is my fic of most of my favorite

shows mixed together. Don't be merciful to me when it comes to

comments, they are always welcomed. I have to learn sometimes.

MICHIRU: Hey, they gave us the same fanfic twice!
HARUKA: Not quite, Michiru. I remember that Bluestar puts the same author's note at the beginning of each part of this story.
HOTARU: I'm not putting up with this...

(Hey if I can handle villains and evil, don't you think I can handle

comments?) This fic is about a world were all dimensions accidentally

mixed into one. It has Kin Dragons, Pokémon, Sailor Senshi, and

Dragon Ball Z in one.

SAILORURANUS: World Shaking!
SAILORNEPTUNE: Deep Submerge!
SAILORPLUTO: Dead...Scream...
[Three brightly colored orbs of energy--gold, sea-blue, and mauve--fly into the screen of the Theater. The screen shorts out for a moment, but the airlock remains sealed.]
SAILORSATURN: Let's see if this will help!
[Sailorsaturn jumps into the air, holding the Silence Glaive high over her head. The blade is wreathed with dark purple energy. The weapon smashes into the screen, and a backlash of energy slams into Saturn's body. She falls.]
SAILORNEPTUNE: I've got you, Hotaru-chan!
[Sailorneptune catches Sailorsaturn before the young girl can hit the ground. The screen, which 'heals' the burns and gashes caused by the attacks, shows a static pattern once it is whole again.]
SAILORSATURN: (softly) Did we do it?

********************************************************

********************************************************

The Kin Dragons/Pokémon/Sailor Senshi/Dragon Ball Z Mix

ALL: Goddammit!
SAILORSATURN: Guess not.
[The Senshi detransform and settle into their seats.]

Part 1: A Weird Day

By Sailor Bluestar aka Crystal-san

< sailorbluestar@hotmail.com >

HOTARU: I thought that the weird days started back in the prologue?

It is a normal day of December in 1998, a time of year for gift

searching.

MICHIRU: Gift *searching*? Not gift giving?
HARUKA: It *is* quite the awkward phrase.
SETSUNA: Also an awkward phase. Being "normal" and "weird" at the same time, that is.

A time for joy as the year draws to a close. It is no different

for a small, quiet town in the country of Canada, of a province, British

Columbia.

HARUKA: Oh, she's not American. She's Canadian.
MICHIRU: I'm surprised that she doesn't call us Nerissa and Corinn, then.

In the drama room of a junior high school in Delta,

Burnsview. There, a group of teenagers met at lunch to play Magic, the

Gathering.

SETSUNA: Ha! That's the stupid "magic" that Joseph was talking about?

The foursome still practice with Joseph with their magical

powers and physical combat. Though not as much now, since they are

learning quickly and am almost done their training.

MICHIRU: They am almost done.
SETSUNA: No speak English good they.
HARUKA: Damn you and your bad English, Joe!

*****

"Hey Justine." Denise calls out.

"Hey Denise." Justine replies. "Who's your friend?"

HOTARU: {Justine} And why is he stealing our commas?

"He's Matt. A friend of mine from summer camp." Denise

responds.

Joe felt a pang of jealousy when he saw Matt standing pretty

close to Denise, too close for his liking.

SETSUNA: Matt must have given those stolen commas to Joe.
MICHIRU: Joe always screws up the sentences. It should be "Joe felt a pang of jealousy because Matt was standing too close to Denise for his liking."

From the beginning of the

school year, he has been getting close to her, but he felt nervous and

didn't rush like all his other girlfriends.

HOTARU: Unbeknownst to all his friends, Joe was actually one of the playas.
MICHIRU: And he would sneak off to the gym for practice when Joseph Cosmos wasn't paying attention.

Denise is a girl who must be

taken slowly or else she will run in fear.

HARUKA: She likes foreplay.

She is a person who hides

something unknown to them all. But he feels that he is leading her on

SETSUNA: (singing) Ohhh, lead me on! On and on...

so they are just friends. But he still watches out for her, not wanting to

see her hurt.

Justine noticed his reaction on his face as he gaze at Denise

and Matt.

MICHIRU: She also noticed that he was using improper verb tense.

She asks, "So why are you here Matt? Shouldn't you be at

school?"

"Yeah, but school got canceled for the rest of the year, due to

heavy snow fall.

HARUKA: {Grandpa Pickles, from "Rugrats"} When I was a youngster, we walked FIFTEEN miles to school, in the rain and snow, it didn't matter! And it was uphill both ways!

And besides, I wanted to get my thoughts and feelings

together, plus I want to see Denise again.

HOTARU: What middle school teenager talks like that?
MICHIRU: Matt is training to become a soap opera star.

Oh, by the way, I got you a

Christmas present. I don't feel like giving it to you on Christmas 'cause

it can be used now.

HARUKA: {Cartman} Whatever, whatever! I do what I want!

So here you go." Matt says, handing Denise a box.

"Open it."

SETSUNA: {Matt} Open it, damn you!
MICHIRU: {Denise} But I want to wait until Christmas!
SETSUNA: {Matt} I said open it! You know I keep my pimp hand strong, bitch!!

Denise opens the box to find Magic cards. A black deck, a

black booster, and a white booster for her cards that she got off a friend.

HARUKA: How would Matt know this?
MICHIRU: Maybe he's the mysterious "friend" that she got off with.

She looked through the white booster to find a few cards which will

make her white deck, very powerful.

HOTARU: There's another one of the stolen commas!

She looked through her new black

deck and found it destructive.

SETSUNA: It must have been radioactive.

She found in her black booster, a Black

Lotus. That caught the attention of Joe, Bryan, Craig, and Justine.

"Wow, a Black Lotus." they cry out in shock.

HARUKA: Lotus position! Greeting the Morning Sun!
MICHIRU: Joseph must have given them a yoga primer!

"I want that card." Craig declares.

"No way, it's mine now." Denise says, smiling.

"If I knew that card was in there, I would have gotten that

one." Bryan says.

HOTARU: {Bryan} You never give me any presents, Matt!
HARUKA: {Matt} Um, I don't know you...

"That is incredible." Justine says.

"Where did you get that booster deck, heck, where did you get

all those decks?" Joe asks.

"In Kelowna." Matt answers.

MICHIRU: {Matt} Because I know that you B.C. kids smoke too much pot to pay attention to Magic cards.

"Can we play before lunch is over? I want to play with the

booster." Denise says.

"Maybe you might win a game fairly now eh?" Bryan says.

HARUKA: {Bryan} That's right, Denise! I know that you're a cheater. A big, fat cheater!
HOTARU: {Denise} I am not fat!
MICHIRU: {Joe} Doesn't you be called Denise fat! Beautiful is she!
SETSUNA: {Joseph} I'll kill you, Bryan! With my skill in wielding all weapons of old!

Denise blushed. Then came Eric.

HOTARU: So, she's a Sailor Starlight.

"Hello." Eric says.

"Bug off Eric." Denise scowls.

SETSUNA: Denise hated Eric. He was nerdy. Not like that dreamy Joseph Cosmos.

"Why don't I keep him away while you play? I'm not really

interested in Magic. See you later?" Matt asks.

"Sure. Thanks." Denise says.

Matt chases Eric away.

MICHIRU: ...with a stick.
HARUKA: {Cartman} I tell him, "Hey! That's a bad nerdy!" And I hit 'im on the head!
HOTARU: {Eric} I just wanted to trade cards with Denise!

Heather, Melody and Stefnie came

over.

SETSUNA: More incidental friends of Bluestar, I bet.

Heather says, "I hate you, you know all the cute guys in the

school. You know Joe, Shawn, Pascal, Chris, and that guy that chased

Eric away."

HOTARU: Oh, no! It's...the Heathers!

"That was Matt, a friend of mine." Denise says.

"That was Matt? The guy you told me about in gym?" Stefnie

asks.

"Yep." came the answer.

"He's cute." Melody comments.

"He's just a friend." Denise says.

SETSUNA: How could anyone be interested in this dull dialogue? It's not even clever.
HARUKA: Yeah, Bluestar really needs to spice up this stupid lunchroom scene.

Then a guy in black armor and with black hair teleported in.

"Princess, I have finally found and have come to take you

back." the man says.

MICHIRU: Whoa, not that much spice!
SETSUNA: (dryly) That was sudden and jarring.
MICHIRU: Also ungrammatical.

"Huh? I am not a princess. I think you are mistaken." Denise

says.

"Iie (No) mistake.

HOTARU: Goddamn Fangirl Japanese.
HARUKA: She should be arrested for misuse of the Find/Replace function.

You're aura is the same in any form.

MICHIRU: Homophone confusion! Noooo!

I can

tell, even if you are not truly hiding your aura. That tells me that you

wish to return to the senshi." the man says.

SETSUNA: Well, we don't want her back. We're doing fine on our own.

"I don't understand. The language you speak is different than

any that I've heard.

HOTARU: Yet, strangely, I can understand you.

And who are you to tell me what to do?" Denise

asks.

"I am you friend,

MICHIRU: {Man in Black Armor} I am you friend, and you am I friend!

sparring partner and protector, Hydra Derrick

or Dragonlance in this form. I am speaking the universal language, the

language of Sol. Sol is almost like English, but with more of an

difference in pronunciation.

SETSUNA: {Hydra Derrick, or Dragonlance In This Form} You don't need to tease me about my funny accent!
HARUKA: You know, Bluestar never did apologize for stealing the 'Dragonlance' name...
HOTARU: The wrath of Margaret Weis will be great...

Please, the senshi need your support."

Dragonlance says.

HARUKA: Yeah, our uniforms don't have any underwire.

Then came in a huge black dragon. It is controlled by someone

in the shadows of the room.

ALL: Joe! Quit it!
HOTARU: {Joe} How knowing it was me, you did?
MICHIRU: Your horrible sentence structure gave it away.
SETSUNA: "Then a huge black dragon came into the room. Scores of kids were squashed into human jelly."
HARUKA: {Shrek} It's quite good on toast...

"Who is that?" Denise asks, pointing to the stranger.

"Don't know, but he is dangerous if he is controlling the

dragon." Joe comments.

HARUKA: No shit, Sherlock!

Then another guy came bringing along youmas.

HOTARU: What the...Youmas? Awesome, it's a party!
MICHIRU: Just throw the cake over here, please!

"Who and what are these things?" Justine asks.

"You don't want to know. I am Tekern of the mighty

Negaforce. Surrender your energy." Tekern says.

HARUKA: (groans) Where does she come up with this stupid crap?
HOTARU: Overexposure to DIC, I think...

In jumps the Sailor Senshi. They took their stances.

"Iie one messes with the innocence of the world.

MICHIRU: Is it really, really hard to find out how to say "nobody" in Japanese?
SETSUNA: I think she's just being lazy.

I am Eternal

Sailor Moon, on behalf of the Moon..."

"...Mercury..."

"...Venus..."

"...Mars..."

"...Jupiter..."

"...Saturn..."

"...Uranus..."

"...Neptune..."

"...Pluto..."

"...and Earth..."

"...we shall punish you."

HARUKA: That was the dumbest speech ever. Not counting the garbage that the "Moonlight Knight" was spewing during the Doom Tree arc.
SETSUNA: Besides, we Outer Senshi rarely give speeches.

"What wackos." Bryan says.

"Sailor senshi. Youmas destroy these pests." Tekern

commands.

"Hai. (Yes.)" they reply.

HOTARU: I guess that exclamation points and commas are just too expensive for Bluestar to use anymore.

The fighting between senshi and youma starts. But they are

watched by three sets of eyes from the balcony. The eyes found the

dragon and decides to defeat it.

HARUKA: The eyes could make such a decision because eyeballs have their own mini-brains.

"Pikachu GO!" Ash Ketchum says.

Pikachu jumps off the balcony rails and lands on the ground

with something in his mouth.

SETSUNA: Pikachu hadn't finished lunch yet.

"Staryu GO!" Misty says.

But instead of Staryu, Psyduck appears.

"Oh no. I didn't say for you to come out." Misty says,

frustrated. 'Psyduck is always giving me a headache.'

HARUKA: Stealing idiotic gags from the television series?
MICHIRU: Check!

"Vulpix GO!" Brock says. 'Gotta help those beautiful

woman! Maybe they might reward me by going out on a date with

me! Or at least a number.'

HOTARU: And all the playas left the gym, to gather around to cheer on Brock, the biggest playa of them all.

Vulpix jumps off the balcony to the floor.

Pikachu turns to Denise and hands the item in its mouth to

her. It is a mini backpack with pokeballs and a pokedex inside.

MICHIRU: Poke-balls? Poke-dex?
HOTARU: For someone who was so exacting about the "é" in the author's note, Bluestar is definitely slipping.
SETSUNA: How could Pikachu be holding a bag big enough to hold all that...in its mouth?
HARUKA: I think that it vomited up a fanny pack.

Then

Pikachu took off to battle the huge black dragon. Denise looks inside

the pouch to find pokeballs galore, some with different colors too. She

took out the pokedex and flips it open. It greets her.

"Hello. I am Dexter, Crystal's pokedex and pager.

HOTARU: I don't remember Pokédexes coming with pagers.
SETSUNA: Maybe she's confused over all the times that Ash talks to Professor Oak on the video-phone...

Welcome

back...Crystal." Dexter says, unemotionally.

All the fighting stops when they heard the last part. They turn

to look at her.

HARUKA: Pause button! Pause button!
MICHIRU: Geez, dial down that volume, Denise. How else could everyone hear Dexter's monotone little voice in the midst of a grand melee battle?

"CRYSTAL?" they asks loudly as one voice.

HOTARU: ...with 5.1 Dolby digital surround sound!

"I have no idea what you guys are talking about." Denise

proclaims. "Why is everyone confusing me with another person. I am

NOT this person you claim me as."

SETSUNA: I'm just Denise and company! A normal person caught in the middle of all this!

"But you are that person. I sense your aura." Piccolo says,

stepping away from the background.

HARUKA: {Piccolo} I'm tired of acting like a juniper bush. Can't this low-budget
production buy real scenery?!

"Why do everyone keep telling me about my aura? I am not a

warrior, I don't have an aura, I am not a princess!" Denise yells.

MICHIRU: {Claire Pike, Baby-sitters Club books} (throwing a tantrum) No fair! Nofe air! Nofe air!

"Everyone has an aura. Whether it is a warrior's aura or a

normal person's aura. An aura is an aura, existing within everyone."

Goku explains, stepping beside Piccolo. "But I don't know about

everything else you've been told."

SETSUNA: Son Goku, Exposition Man!
HOTARU: (singing) Exposition Man, Exposition Man, tellin' us things that we didn't know!
When will he shut up, when will he go? Nobody knows...Exposition Man!

"Yeah. To us, your aura is telling us that you are our friend

and companion in battle, Crystal." Krillin informs.

HOTARU and SETSUNA: (singing) Information Man, Information Man, does all the things Exposition Man can!
MICHIRU: Even though auras don't work that way...

"You are Crystal Love

HARUKA: And here I thought she was gonna be called Crystal Meth...

from our band of pokémon trainers.

You are a pokémon master." Ash informs.

"You are my cousin, Princess Crystalline or Crystal-san. You

are Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar." Eternal Sailor Moon informs.

HARUKA: What is this, a goddamn "infomercial"?!
SETSUNA: {Denis Leary} You know what hell is, folks? It's reading this fanfic, for eons and
eons, wearing orange plaid bellbottoms...and you have to sit next to Super Eternal Sailor
Bluestar for all eternity!
HOTARU: {Sailor Bluestar} How ya guys doin'? I'm Super Eternal!
MICHIRU: This is gonna suck!

"And you are one of the Kin Dragons." the shadowed person

says, coming out of the shadows.

SETSUNA: {Shadowed Person} No, don't make me leave the shadows! I have no substance!!
HARUKA: {Wicked Witch of the West} I'm melting...I'm melting!

"I am Keman, your foster brother."

"If I am who you say I am, why don't I remember?" Denise

snaps.

MICHIRU: {Denise, Denis-Leary-style} Now, what did I forget? (slaps forehead) Oh, yeah, four different lives in four seperate dimensions! Holy shit! ...Where are my pants?
HOTARU: I wish that Bluestar had come up with a better plot point than the old, hackneyed amnesia gimmick.
HARUKA: Well, then, a blow to the head ought to cure that!

They all look at one another. "Well for us Kin, you ran away

from something that was disturbing you." Keman says.

HARUKA: {Keman} You saw me taking a bath. I swear, everybody freaks out about the dead fetus attached to my torso...

"For us, you took off when you're beloved,

MICHIRU: {Crystal Love, Pokémon Master} I am beloved? Aaahh! "Iie one" can love me!

Joseph died in

your arms." Ash says.

HARUKA: {Joseph} Not even death can stop Joseph Cosmos, bi-atch!

"Same for us." Eternal Sailor Moon says.

"Us too." Goku replies.

SETSUNA: Sensing a theme, here, anyone?

"But I don't understand." Denise says, close to tears.

HOTARU: What else do you want? They practically spelled everything out for you! And that Tekern loser is just standing around so that you can learn this crap about youself!

"So you are the reputed senshi." Tekern snarls. "Youmas,

attack her."

"WHAT!?!?" Denise shouts.

MICHIRU: {Denise} Bitch, please! I'm Denise and Company!

The youmas attacked her unmercifully. Denise quickly dodge

every attack, but soon stumbled and fell.

HOTARU: (nods) Ah, the old horror movie cliché. Being chased by a monster...
SETSUNA: ...you've got, like, five miles on the bastard...
HOTARU: ....and you trip and break your leg.
BOTH: (sigh loudly)

The youmas took the

opportunity to destroy her.

HARUKA: All your Denise are belong to us!

Denise knows that she couldn't take on all

of them so she screams in fright and a miraculous thing happened.

MICHIRU: A bright light descended from heaven. There were two personages in that beam of light, and one of them said to her...
HARUKA: Behold, this is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear him.
HOTARU: Get up, idiot! The Lord helps those who help themselves!

She

starts to glow a blue-green.

SETSUNA: It's Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy! And joining them is Three Mile Island Girl!

A light shines brightly at her forehead.

MICHIRU: Stefnie! Stop shining that laser pointer at Denise's forehead! Put it away!

A

symbol flashed. But not just any symbol, a golden crescent moon.

MICHIRU: Usagi, you were the one who told us to stop graffiti-tagging things with our Sailor Senshi marks!
HARUKA: Yeah!
SETSUNA: And using radium-paint on Denise! For shame!
HOTARU: Although that would explain why she's acting like such a moron...
SETSUNA: Yeah, that radioactive stuff wreaks havoc on brain cells.

Denise continues to scream as the power of the crescent moon blasted

golden beams at the youmas

HARUKA: Disco Ball Denise!
SETSUNA: Do the hustle!
MICHIRU: Ohhh, beep-beep!

and more golden beams came from the

ground, surrounding Denise protectively. The ground started to shake

and break apart, some pieces floating, under the intensity of the beams.

HOTARU: {Helios} Who tripped off the security system at Elysion?
HARUKA: {Mamoru} Oops, my bad. (pretends to press a button on a car alarm keychain)
Beep-boop.

Everyone knew that they have to stop her screaming or die. But no one

could get close enough to comfort her.

MICHIRU: {Baby Denise} Wahhh! Waaaahh! I want my bottle! I want my blankie!

Just then, a figure dashed into the center where Denise is

SETSUNA: Find your center...

and

held her gently, but firmly. The beams of power cease and the ground

is put back to normal.

HARUKA: One touch repair job. I'm impressed.

They all look at the figure who is at Denise's

side. It is a man in a uniform vaguely familiar to the senshi.

MICHIRU: {Sailor Venus} Oh, no! It's the French police!

"Shhh. Hush now. All is right in the world. Hush." the man

says to Denise softly.

HOTARU: Hush little brat girl, don't say a word, or I'll wring your neck like a mockingbird...
SETSUNA: (singing) All's right with the world, everything is in sync, everything is all right! Friends are friends again, everything is in the pink! Everything is all right!
MICHIRU: Whoa, back up that Rock 'n' Roll Express, Jem girl.

Unable to determine if the guy is a threat to his friend, Joe

walks up to them and asks, "Who are you?"

The man looks up at Joe and replies to his somewhat mirror

image,

HARUKA: {The Vaguely Familiar Uniformed Man} I am your long lost twin! And I have a
secret to tell you all. We're both 'toons!!

"I am who I am. And that is none of your business."

Denise snuggles closer to the man. The man held her

protectively. He materialized a white rose

MICHIRU: Nothing up this sleeve, and nothing up this one!
HOTARU: How does he do it?

and places it in her hair. He

then picks her up and hands her over to Joe.

"Take care of her." the man says before disappearing.

SETSUNA: She needs to be burped. And I think her diaper needs changing.


"Sure." Joe answers to the empty air where the mystery man

was.

"Can somebody tell me what is going on?" Matt asks, angrily.

HARUKA: {Matt} I knew I shouldn't have eaten the brownies here! I'm hallucinating!

Denise slowly awakens in Joe's arms. Joe smiles down at her.

Denise just snuggles into him

SETSUNA: She's so...snuggly.
MICHIRU: Let's douse her in fabric softener and light her on fire.
HOTARU: {Snuggle, the Downy fabric softener bear} There can be only one!

and Joe lets her stand on her own.

"I wonder..." Eternal Sailor Pluto ponders, walking towards

Denise.

HARUKA: {Eternal Sailor Pluto} Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

"Do you remember about the senshi?"

"Hmmm? You are so familiar." Denise says, sleepily leaning

on Joe.

SETSUNA: Sheesh, I might as well be talking to a wall.
HARUKA: {War-time Nabiki} A wall? Where?!

"Remember Princess, remember who you are. Not who are

pretending to be." Eternal Sailor Pluto says, bringing up a hand to

Denise's forehead.

SETSUNA: I'll smack you down!

"What are you doing?" Joe asks.

"Remember Princess." Eternal Sailor Pluto says, ignoring the

question.

HOTARU: {Eternal Sailor Pluto} Don't you dare question me, puny mortal!
SETSUNA: I don't really do that, do I?

Eternal Sailor Pluto and Denise starts to glow in their

respective colors.

MICHIRU: Yeah, because aquamarine really respects ME.

Denise's golden crescent moon flares as Eternal Sailor

Pluto's Time Staff glows and the wind picks up. Within Denise's mind,

images of the past are brought into full perspective.

HOTARU: Let me adjust that camera lens...there!

As the last

memories came forth, they both collapsed in exhaustion. There is a

blue-green wand with a golden crescent moon on top with white wings

at the upper side of the wand laying by Denise's body. The white rose

fell to the ground.

HARUKA: And it all happened very, very slowly.
MICHIRU: Yet nobody cared at all...
SETSUNA: They just let Denise break her nose on the floor when she face-planted.
HOTARU: But Sailor Pluto was supported by her teammates, of course.

"What was Puu doing?" Eternal Sailor Moon asks, using

Eternal Sailor Pluto's nickname.

SETSUNA: Stupid fool. Only Small Lady calls me that.
HARUKA: (shrugs) Trust Bluestar to screw up the little details.
MICHIRU: Except for the ones concerning Denise.

"Ami-chan?" Eternal Sailor Mars asks.

"I'm checking. They are still alive. Just unconscious. I

believe that Setsuna-san was trying to get Crystal-san to remember

about everything." Eternal Sailor Mercury explains.

HOTARU: {Eternal Sailor Mercury} I would think Setsuna's words just a moment ago were self-explanatory...
MICHIRU: No, everybody had to check their brains at the door to participate in this fanfic...

"I hope they're both okay." Tuxedo Kamen says.

"So do I. I would hate to see her dead.

HARUKA: But we wouldn't! The fanfic would be over, then!

Especially when her

love is due to return to her any time now." Dragonlance says.

MICHIRU: {Dragonlance} Yeah, I finally paid her overdue library fees. Tika Majere is a real bear about that.

"Her love?" Justine questions.

"Hai. The one destined for her from the beginning of time."

Dragonlance explains.

MICHIRU: {Dragonlance} Yup, she and her love and I...we're all a lot older than we look. Hanging around since the beginning of time..
HOTARU: (snorts) That explains so much!
HARUKA: Tell us his name, what he looks like. You putz!

"I knew there was someone for her and not me." Joe says.

MICHIRU: {Joe} I'll never find someone to love! That Denise has all the luck.
SETSUNA: {Heather} I hate her.

"So that's why she left. To pursue him. But he died so she ran

away to start a new life. How did he die?" Keman asks out of curiosity.

HARUKA: {Keman} And who the hell keeps stealing our commas?

"He tried to protect me and failed to put up a shield around

himself to save himself." Denise whispers as she gets up.

HARUKA: {Denise} My butt was too big! He expended so much power keeping me fully
protected by his shield that he had no energy left to make one for himself. And I was too
busy eating bonbons to help him!

"Princess, you must rest." Dragonlance speaks up.

"I am fine Dragonlance."

SETSUNA: {Denise} So fine! I am a much better Dragonlance than you, Hydra Derrick!

Denise says, wobbly getting up.

MICHIRU: She wibbles, she wobbles, but she won't fall down!

"Change into your true self and maybe you'll be stronger in

that form." Eternal Sailor Mercury advise.

Crystal nods and concentrates.

HOTARU: I thought that she was Denise a paragraph ago?

There is a flash of white light

and then, there stood before them was a lady with light blue hair, blue

eyes, white slacks and blouse, but the most noticeable feature is the

golden crescent moon shining proudly upon her forehead,

HARUKA: It was like this huge, greasy zit. I couldn't wait to pop it and drain the pus.

occasionally

flickering.

SETSUNA: Low battery! Low battery!
HARUKA: Stick a couple triple-As up her butt.
MICHIRU: That was a little too much, Haruka-chan.

"How do you feel?" Keman asks.

"Stronger. Arigatou Mercury-chan." Denise, now Crystal,

says.

HOTARU: {Denise, now Crystal} I couldn't think of that myself. Duuhh...

"Your welcome." Eternal Sailor Mercury replies.

MICHIRU: (looking irritated) How can this native English speaker keep confusing her homophones? Don't they teach this in elementary schools anymore?

"CRYSTAL-SAN!" Eternal Sailor Moon says, running up to

Crystal, full speed.

Crystal laughs. "You haven't changed one bit Usagi-chan."

HARUKA: Hold it. So, everyone on the Sailor Team is expected to use the honorific "-san" for Crystal? And not with the surname, which would be reasonable, but with her given name --
SETSUNA: Plus, she's not even Japanese...
HARUKA: Right. But she gets to use the "-chan" suffix with everybody else?
SETSUNA: Yup.
HARUKA: Screw that shit.

she says, hugging Eternal Sailor Moon tightly.

"Um, Denise, I'm very confused. And I'm sure I'm not the

only one." Matt says.

Crystal turns towards them.

"I am who I am; I was Crystal of the Kin since I was found in a

crystal-like egg.

HOTARU: {Crystal} But no one realized that it was really a prison to keep me from being released onto an ill-prepared world.

I was Katherine Crystal Love, a pokémon master. I

was Princess Crystalline in the Silver Millennium, I was Love Crystal

(Japanese names are reversed with their first and last name)

SETSUNA: {Crystal} Just in case you didn't know, I'll give you a grammar lesson for Japanese!
HARUKA: {Joseph} Joseph Cosmos doesn't need any Japanese lessons, bi-atch!

of Tokyo,

Japan. I was Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar, mysterious mistress of

power

MICHIRU: {Crystal} Power's wife has no idea that I'm sleeping with him.

and defender of the Balance. I was Crystal, fighter against evil

threats. I am Denise now. I have

HOTARU: A flow chart to explain all of this.
MICHIRU: No clue what I'm doing.
HARUKA: My own manure company.
SETSUNA: The unlimited power of the Self-Insert! Bwahahahaha!!

the power to be the White Mistress

and the Knight of the Silver Dragon Knight in battle of this time.

MICHIRU: "Knight of the Silver Dragon Knight"? Since when do knights need their own knights?

Does

that answer your questions?" Crystal asks.

"Uh, sort of I guess. But you haven't told us why you ran

away. And why you keep saying was instead of am. 'Cause you aren't

dead yet." Matt says.

SETSUNA: {Matt} Oh, God! I've been sleeping with a corpse!
HARUKA: Abomination! Abomination!

Crystal sighs, knowing that sort of question would have came

up. She prepared to give the hardest answer she could think of.

MICHIRU: After all, existential physics and quantum theory are pretty tough.

"After...after by itoshii (beloved) fiancé..."

Several senshi gasps.

HOTARU: She must have a cold. {Crystal} Afder by idoshih fiancé...
HARUKA: She's been infected with the T-Virus!

Crystal continued on, "...died, I ran away. I couldn't live

without my one true love. So I committed suicide. I died.

MICHIRU: But I rose from the dead afterward. I am now a zombie.
SETSUNA: {Crystal} Brains! Brains!!

That is why

I said my former titles in past tense. It was because I died all those

years ago."

"Former titles?" Dragonlance asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Hai for I denounce myself from all those titles. I am iie

longer one of you. I am now, normal." Crystal says, turning her back

to them and crossing her arms in finale.

MICHIRU: Ara, where to start with that crappy paragraph?
HOTARU: Go for it, Michiru-mama! Correct everything!
MICHIRU: For starters, there should be a comma after the first word. "Hai" in that sentence is used as an exclamation. Also, to "denounce" someone or something is to CONDEMN it.
SETSUNA: You can condemn yourself. You can even "renounce" your titles.
MICHIRU: But, you cannot condemn yourself FROM any sort of title.
HOTARU: And the Fangirl Japanese! There is no, repeat, NO reason to replace the word "no" with "iie". Based on the text, she is facing her Canadian friends and speaking English to them. There was no indication that Crystal turned to look at Dragonlance after he spoke.
MICHIRU: For once, Bluestar has overused her commas. "I am now normal", period, is a perfect example of a grammatically correct sentence. And I belive that Bluestar meant to describe Crystal's actions as "crossing her arms with finality", not "in finale".

"But you are. In your heart you are one of each of us. You

know it to be so." Eternal Sailor Moon says.

SETSUNA: Crystal is "one of each of us"?
HARUKA: {Darth Vader} Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
SETSUNA: But it's an exceedingly awful example of poor editing.

"But it isn't that simple. I turned my back on my life years

ago, thus giving up my throne, my position, my powers, everything. I

HARUKA: ...have a very powerful back! It can do all of that!
HOTARU: It's also a combination hookah and coffee maker. Plus, it makes julienne fries!

have started a new life here. It will be very difficult to change back.

MICHIRU: Idiot! There was a flash of white light, and you, Denise -- you changed into Crystal!
HOTARU: Weren't you paying attention?

Not to mention leave the new found friends." Crystal explains.

HOTARU: {Crystal} The New Found Friends. They're my band, and we're so hot right now.
SETSUNA: She must be the bass player.

"Princess, you can't do this." Dragonlance argues.

"Hai, I can. And you can't call me princess anymore because

I have turned down my heritage. I have rights to it.

MICHIRU: Are you trying to say that you have a right to turn down your heritage? Because if you do, then Usagi-san does, too. And there will be no Crystal Millenium. In fact, if Usagi had turned down her heritage the moment that she wanted to, the Dark Kingdom would be ruling the planet! Sounds pretty damn selfish, doesn't it?

You have interfered

in what was going to be a normal life. You have done me iie favors in

returning my memories.

HOTARU: Iie! You have done me iie favors. I answer to iie one. I know iie other words in Japanese. I only know about "iie". Iie thing else but iie.
SETSUNA: Yamete, Hotaru-chan!
HOTARU: IIE! Iie, iie, iie!

You have only brought me pain. LEAVE!"

Crystal shouts angrily.

HARUKA: {Dragonlance} Well, if you're not a princess anymore, I don't have to listen to you.
SETSUNA: {Dragonlance} Sit down, everybody! We're going to be here for a long time!

"You cannot change the past for it is forbidden.

MICHIRU: {Crystal} Only I can do that. Only I can change the continuity of my favorite
anime programs. Not you! Waaaaahhh!

You cannot change my decision. You cannot change me."

"Since you are iie longer royalty. You can't boss me around."

Dragonlance points out.

HOTARU: I guess that iie one controls Dragonlance, too.

"Then you leave me with iie other alternative. BLUESTAR

ETERNAL CRYSTAL POWER..."

ALL: Iie, Crytal, iie!

Crystal shouts, calling upon the

power of her former heritage with her transformation wand.

"...MAKE-UP!"

HARUKA: But nothing happened.
MICHIRU: Her heritage didn't like being condemned.
SETSUNA: You can't access condemned property. And that includes magical-girl-fighter powers.

She transformed to her friends' amazement. "Wow." is all

they say.

HOTARU: The script supervisor had the day off.

"I was hoping you would allow for my small request. But

since you refuse to leave, I must force you to. BLUESTAR

TELEPORT."

MICHIRU: All by herself, Sailor Bluestar can do what it originally took five Sailor Senshi to do?
SETSUNA: (resigned shrug) Omnipotent Self-Insertation Syndrome.

Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar shouts, thrusting out a

ninja crescent moon,

HARUKA: I think the author is referring to "shuriken". Also known as "throwing stars" or, incorrectly, as "ninja stars".
HOTARU: Oh, everyone knows that she's using the spare Batarangs she picked up at Bruce
Wayne's garage sale...

infused with the power of Bluestar and planted

them on each chest.

MICHIRU: Thereby killing everyone. The END.

But for some reason she missed a couple senshi

and didn't bother to redue it.

SETSUNA: Is "redue" even a word?
[Hotaru consults a Japanese-to-English dictionary.]
HOTARU: There's R-E-D-U-B, redub. And R-E-D-O, redo.
HARUKA: Don't forget R-E-D-R-U-M!

To be continued...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. More AN! What will the

other guys do to keep Crystal/Denise on there side?

MICHIRU: No. One. Cares.
SETSUNA: See that? "Crystal/Denise".
HARUKA: Proof of narcissism if I ever saw any!

Find out next

time. I love e-mail. Send it to sailorbluestar@hotmail.com. JA NE!

Sailor Bluestar aka Crystal-san

HOTARU: It's not over...don't celebrate yet...

Hi, this is Sailor Bluestar. This is my fic of most of my favorite

MICHIRU: Oh, screw reading that again!
SETSUNA: Fine, I'll take care of it. Pluto Planet Power, Make-up!
[Setsuna transforms into Sailorpluto, with all the flash and glamour that we know and love. She lifts the Time Key high in the air, pointing it at the text on the screen, and the Garnet Orb glows brightly. The words skip by in a blur.]

The Kin Dragons/Pokémon/Sailor Senshi/Dragon Ball Z Mix

Part 2: Internal Combat

By Sailor Bluestar aka Crystal-san

HOTARU: Keep going, Setsuna-mama!
BERYL'S VOICE: I don't think so!
[Electricity crackles. Beryl's image appears before them on the screen. She points a black-taloned finger at Sailorpluto, and the Senshi of Time is electrocuted by a red bolt of lightning.]
SAILORPLUTO: (screams) I'll stop, I'll stop!
HARUKA: Yamero, Beryl!
[Haruka leaps up and knocks Sailorpluto out of the lightning bolt's path.]
BERYL: Just so I don't have to do this again, I'll have Kunzite take the author's notes out of the other files. You annoying gnats... (laughs mockingly) Aren't you going to thank me for my mercy?
[Sailorpluto has detransformed. She glares at Beryl as the dark queen begins to fade away.]
SETSUNA: Go to hell, you bitch.

The bell rang to end the lunch period. Crystal change back

into Denise and left.

MICHIRU: Can't she just pick a verb tense and stick with it? She changes right in the middle of sentences, sometimes!

She had much to think about, preferably alone.

They others watch her back as she exits the room and away from them.

HOTARU: Well, she would obviously be going away from them if they were looking at her back!
MICHIRU: Unless she was moonwalking...

They wonder what other secrets she has been hiding from them as they

leave for their third period class. Joe picked up the white rose and saw

it turn yellow in color.

HARUKA: Ew, Joe! Don't pee on the roses!
SETSUNA: Yuck.

He decided to give it back to her later.

HOTARU: {Joe} In name of the Joe, I punishing you!

They

also decide that they will ask her about her past later. Perhaps after

school. They even ponder at the disappearance of Joseph.

HARUKA: So, they considered his disappearance deeply and thoroughly...
HOTARU: And decided that they didn't really care. Maybe he'd been abducted and anal-probed by aliens...
SETSUNA: Looks like a case for the X-Files!
[All hum "The X-Files" opening theme.]

He is

usually there, but today, he wasn't...

MICHIRU: And as usual, the dumbass narrator switched from present tense to past tense in a single sentence.

*****

(After School)

Denise, in Crystal form, shivered in the frosty air. She is

perched atop the roof of the school and had only her magnificent cloak

to keep her warm from the cold temperatures.

HARUKA: So...she's naked under the cloak?
[All shudder.]
HOTARU: And what cloak are they talking about? Nobody mentioned a cloak in the last chapter.
SETSUNA: Maybe it's an Invisibility Cloak? After all, the first Harry Potter book was published in Britain a year before this fanfic was written...

With her hood drew up

over her head and the cape cascading down her body with her fingers

clutching her cape against the blowing breeze, she is a magnificent

sight.

MICHIRU: You can't look like anything else in a Magnificent Cloak!
HOTARU: Gag me with a shovel.

She looked back on her life here, in this time and place where she

grew up in her other form. True, she wish for the adventure and peril

MICHIRU: She wished! She wished!
SETSUNA: Or else "she looks back on her life".

that the others take for granted, but she has found some sort of

happiness here that she doesn't want to leave, not yet. She knows that

if she leaves, she might never come back here to see her friends, the

family that raised her, the teachers who taught her the ways of the

world,

HOTARU: And she knew that they would all rejoice. She wanted to cause them pain.
HARUKA: The "teachers who taught her the ways of the world"? Schoolteachers aren't exactly known for teaching street-smarts...

she wouldn't see that again knowing the life she would most

definitely choose.

SETSUNA: Why does Bluestar love run-on sentences all of a sudden?
MICHIRU: She must have a surplus of commas.
HARUKA: It would explain why she was so stingy with them before...

Crystal pulled her cloak closer around her. She knew that she

would never taste freedom from her duties like this if she chose the life

of a senshi,

SETSUNA: What are you talking about? We're allowed to stand on roofs and gaze into the night for no reason other than the fact that it looks good!
HARUKA: Yeah, it's one of the perks!

her duties would bind her to her constant post of protecting

the innocent. Something she doesn't enjoy too much. It is fine once in

a while, but all the time is a bit too much.

HOTARU: My God. Why is this girl a senshi again?

Being kept on guard is no

fun.

HOTARU: Yeah, and being turned into a twisted cyborg freak with a soul-eating alien essence inside you isn't fun, either! It happened to me, and I had to become a death-dealing senshi, and seal my original self in the Tau Ceti System to stop Master Pharoh 90! Then, I had to be reborn as a little baby! But I did it because it was my destiny! You lazy bitch, Crystal!
SETSUNA: We don't need you!
MICHIRU and HARUKA: Boo, hiss!

But to chose a life of normality would be pointless and

unfulfilling. Besides, who would defend the universe should Eternal

Sailor Moon and the others fail?

SETSUNA: That would be Sailor Cosmos, the most pure and true form of Sailor Moon.

She is the only one left powerful

enough to defeat any who gets past the senshi of the planets. Even the

Galactic senshi are no match for her.

HOTARU: (sarcastically) Of course!

Her powers are as endless as the

planet-star guardian in which she commands.

ALL: Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Sailor Bluestar is a Mary Sue!

To refuse the call of duty

is to refuse life and destiny given to her by the Gods of Old. That would

certainly be sacrilege.

HARUKA: And pretty fucking weak, too.
HOTARU: But Crystal didn't care. She's all about the sacrilege.

She looks down upon the school grounds of her childhood

and remember the times when there were peace among those who were

innocent and sweet.

MICHIRU: This drivel is so sacchrine that I think I'm going to puke.

Yet for her, the age of innocence is over and the

age of remorse is beginning. She has grown out of that old age

SETSUNA: Not only is Crystal super-duper powerful, she can also reverse the effects of aging!
No more liver spots and wrinkles!

and

into a new one to accustom to her will. How she wish to be normal, yet

be able to make a difference in the universe.

[Everyone groans. Haruka begins to pound her head on the seat in front of her.]
HARUKA: Just choose already! No one cares about your pointless inner conflict and contradictory desires.
HOTARU: Iie one!

She longs for the comfort

of her itoshii's (beloved's) embrace. To be in his arms and...

'Stop that nonsense.' her mind scolded.

SETSUNA: You know that we've been denied our NC-17 rating!

'He is not here with

you at your times of need. All those other times together meant

nothing to him but a burden of destiny.'

MICHIRU: That made no sense at all.
HARUKA: "All those other times, when you were together, must have meant nothing to him. It was just a burden placed on him by destiny."
MICHIRU: Thank you for clearing that up.

'No, that cannot be correct. I know he loves me. He has just

yet to realize it.' she reply back.

SETSUNA: "He has just yet to realize it" is a phrase that implies that he only has this moment to realize something. What Bluestar means to say is "He just has yet to realize it", or, more clearly, "He just has not realized it yet".

'Silly, he doesn't love you. If he did, he would have returned

to you long ago instead of leaving you alone.' her mind reprimand.

Though her heart didn't want to believe it to be so, her mind

spoke logic.

HOTARU: Human heart, Vulcan brain.
MICHIRU: Sounds like the title of Mr. Spock's autobiography...

If he had loved her without a care of destiny, he would be

by her side by now. But, sadly, he isn't, so in conclusion, he doesn't

love her.

HARUKA: Oh, the angst! OH, the humanity!

*****

(That Night)

Joseph awoke with a start. A chill that went down his spine

and spread throughout his entire body.

MICHIRU: "He felt a chill that went down his spine" et cetera? That "chill" crap means nothing in a sentence fragment!

He couldn't stop shaking.

Something had frightened him so badly that he couldn't think right.

SETSUNA: But then, he could never really think right.
HOTARU: Especially not since locking eyes with Denise in the prologue.

Something was wrong and he can feel it. He feel that a certain woman

needs him, yet he doesn't know anyone well enough to establish that

bond.

HARUKA: What sort of bond does one need to have with a person only described as "a certain woman"?
HOTARU: And what about all those warm fuzzies he has for Denise? He did feel as though she could "help him through the troubled times" and all that romance-novel-type bullshit.

He ponders that for a moment before going back to bed.

HARUKA: {Joseph} Joseph Cosmos must have smoked too much mescaline this afternoon, bi-atch!

*****

(After School)

The senshi who escaped Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar's

teleport hid out and discussed strategies

SETSUNA: ...used to successfully bluff while playing poker.

to get her back on the right

track, to defend the world from evil. Then two of their members jerked

HARUKA: Gotta love that jerky.
MICHIRU: I'm surprised, Haruka-chan. You just passed up an opportunity to make a dirty joke!
HARUKA: Well, it's probably about us, anyway.

and fell to their knees panting in gasps.

HOTARU: Well, "panting" by itself or "gasping" by itself would work much better. Not "panting in gasps". For crying out loud, the air goes IN when you gasp, and OUT when you pant. You can't do both at the same time.
HARUKA: Without sounding like you're hyperventilating, that is.

"Michiru-chan, daijobu? (Are you okay?)" one of the senshi

asks.

"Daijabu. (I'm fine) Hotaru-chan?" Michiru asks.

HARUKA: What did I tell you? It is us.
SETSUNA: We're so badass.

"Daijabu." Hotaru answers.

MICHIRU: Mispelling the romanization of Japanese words! And "are you okay?" translates to "daijobu ka?". "I'm fine" is simply "daijobu". Not D-A-I-J-A-B-U.

"What happened?" an older senshi questions.

"You should know, you are the Time senshi." Hotaru snaps.

HOTARU: God, am I PMS-ing in this fanfic, or what?
SETSUNA: And why am I called an "older senshi"? I'm reborn to be the same age as Haruka and Michiru!

"I may know, yet may not. Time is a mystery left to be a

mystery." Setsuna replies.

HARUKA: And what's with the quasi-mystical bullshit you're spewing there, Setsuna-san?

"Whatever." the other senshi says.

"Haruka-chan, something is wrong with Crystal-san. She has

lost hope for her itoshii's return. I feel her pain for some odd reason."

Michiru says.

MICHIRU: Because really, I don't care. And in fact, I actually hate Crystal's guts!

"I felt it too. Very strong. It is odd for us to sense it since she

is a master of hiding emotions from our senses. But in her

depressioned state,

SETSUNA: "Decompressioned"? Or maybe "depressed"?
HOTARU: Let's hope for decompressioned. If she's in an airplane cabin, she's hurtling toward Earth at a billion feet per second!

her guards must be down and unoperational. She

may be a bit moody from now on

HARUKA: Maybe you should share your Midol with her, Hotaru-chan!

until she re-erects those barriers."

Hotaru says.

"I sense it too, but it is as expected." Setsuna answers.

"Why can't you give us a straight answer?" Hotaru ask hotly.

HOTARU: Why has Bluestar written me as such a bitch?
MICHIRU: Because you're the youngest Senshi, except for Chibi-Usa, and Bluestar expects you to be the typical rebellious teen.
HOTARU: But I collect lamps! How tame is that?

"Because, that is against the laws of Time." Setsuna replies.

SETSUNA: And Bluestar needs an excuse to keep things mysterious.

"Iie (No). Let us quite discussing this and focus our attention

of the problem at hand. We need to seek out her fiancé." Michiru

states.

MICHIRU: Let us "quite" discussing this. But we don't have to QUIT discussing it or
anything...
HOTARU: Look at my hand. Look at my hand. Focus all your "attention of the problem".
Look at my hand.

"Hai. (Yes.)" they reply.

HARUKA: Why does everyone speak in unison in this stupid fanfic?

"Um, where do we start?" Haruka asks.

SETSUNA: Let's break into the bitch's locker!

*****

(After School)

"Where did she go?" Joe asks. "She's usually at her locker

by now. Rarely is she gone before I get to see her."

MICHIRU: Joe must have gotten a tutor for English. He's suddenly speaking in a more proper fashion.
SETSUNA: Although a bit too much like poetry... "Rarely is she gone"?

"Maybe she is home by now. Call her house and see. You

should have her number from grade 8. Not to mention her e-mail."

Justine says.

HARUKA: {Justine} I just did my nails! I can't do it myself!

"How would you know about the phone number?" Joe asks,

suspiciously.

"Um..."

"You wrote it didn't you?" Joe asks.

"Kinda, because shewastooshytodoitherselfsoIhelpedher."

SETSUNA: {Justine} Plus she kinda-forgot-her-own-phone-number!
MICHIRU: Thank you for hyphenating.

Justine blurts out.

"She should be still around. I have a feeling that she is still

around, but not noticeable since she wants to be alone with her

thoughts." Joe says, changing the subject.

MICHIRU: Damn, Joe's feelings are more specific than a Sailor Senshi's!
HARUKA: And noticing the unnoticable, too! Impressive yet totally unlikely and stupid.

The group waited a few minutes before deciding that she isn't

around and went home. Too bad they didn't check the roof.

HOTARU: They could have hung out with Onizuka-sensei. Shooting off bottle rockets and bungee jumping from the rooftops...
SETSUNA: Good times, good times...

*****

(Continuation of thoughts from above, she practically spends

the night at school thinking, reflecting)

'I am who I am; I was Crystal of the Kin, I was Katherine

Crystal Love, I was Princess Crystalline of Bluestar, I was Love

Crystal, I was Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar, I was Crystal, and I am

Denise. If the threat was great when I didn't have my memories, I

would have been the White Mistress or the Silver Dragon Knight.'

HARUKA: The girl loves her cut-and-paste feature.
SETSUNA: Funny how the last thing changed from "Knight of the Silver Dragon Knight" to the more sensible "Silver Dragon Knight".

Crystal thought. 'So many names and titles for one person.

MICHIRU: A normal person caught in the middle of all this??

If only my

itoshii Joey-chan was with me

HOTARU: Ah-ha! It is Joseph Cosmos!
SETSUNA: {Joe} Hey! I can be called Joey!
HARUKA: {Joey, from "Friends"} No way. I am the one true Joey.

I would have chosen already.'

'But he isn't.' her mind reminded.

'Must you constantly remind me of that?' Crystal snaps

back. 'Look at what you've made me do, I'm talking to myself!'

'Well gomen nasai!' her mind responded sarcastically.

'Don't forget who died because of you!'

'Don't remind me!' Crystal warns.

HARUKA: Oh, my God, she's a schizophrenic.

'What are you going to do? You cannot deny destiny as

Mamoru-san tried with those nasty little dreams.

SETSUNA: Oh, look! And now she's trying to act like she knows something about the
timeline!

The truth is in front

of you, accept it and carry on with your life.' her mind advises.

'What shall I ever do?

MICHIRU: "Whatever shall I do?" is what you want to say, dingbat.
HOTARU: And stop talking like a fairy-tale princess.
SETSUNA: Snow White, Rose Red, and Blue Star.

To return to fighting evil is to turn my

back on, what will most definitely, be my only chance at a normal life I

crave.

HARUKA: Who does she think she is? Buffy Summers? Season One's Tsukino Usagi?

But to ignore destiny would be dangerous to the universe and

its Balance.' Crystal argues.

'Do what you think is best, I am done arguing with you

tonight. I can't stand you anymore.' her mind snaps.

HOTARU: {Crystal} I've lost my mind!!
MICHIRU: {Crystal's Mind} Sweetie, you did that a long time ago.

'To think of what to do best would require you.' Crystal

teases.

HARUKA: She's such a tease.
SETSUNA: She's such a psycho.

'And I have to put up with you too!' her mind replies.

Crystal snuggles into the cloak as the wind picks up.

MICHIRU: This creep will snuggle with anything.

'Odd, such weather is unusual.

SETSUNA: A cold, windy night is unusual? For British Columbia?! In December?!
HOTARU: I think that she's a shut-in...

I wonder what is behind this

windy night. Something is amiss. Danger is around the corner, I can

taste it.

HARUKA: {Crystal} It tastes like pimento loaf.

Must I decide so soon?' Crystal thought.

The wind picks up even more and the cloak is becoming

useless against the biting cold. Her hood flew back, revealing her thick,

luscious hair

HOTARU: Luscious HAIR?
MICHIRU: If that's not an inappropriate adjective, I don't know what is.
HARUKA: No, she chugs Vidal Sassoon.

of light blue. Her cape flap about in the wind as she look up

at the clouds. She foresees the storm

SETSUNA: {Crystal} Eat your heart out, TV weather anchor!

and decides it is time to turn in.

But she unwillingly forgets to check if the coast is clear before

transforming.

HOTARU: Her mind had turned against her!
MICHIRU: "She unwittingly forgets to check", perhaps?
HARUKA: The girl has no wits.
SETSUNA: And we're supposed to cheer for this girl? This is the hero?

Someone was watching.

"BLUESTAR ETERNAL CRYSTAL POWER..."

"...MAKE-UP!"

Crystal transformed into Super Eternal Sailor Bluestar. She

picks up her backpack and teleports it into her room.

MICHIRU: {Denise's Mom} Denise? What is this hole in your backpack? It looks like a
Batarang outline!
HOTARU: {Denise} Oh...that's just from my...um, ninja crescent moon.

She decides that

she needs some air before returning to her home and doing her

homework, like a normal person.

SETSUNA: Just a second ago, she was bothered by the windy conditions. Now she needs "some air"?
HARUKA: She's got a flat tire!

She takes the advantage of her form

and jumps from roof to roof,

HOTARU: ...getting her friends some free cable.
HARUKA: It's badass!

letting her blood flow

SETSUNA: Because it never flowed unless she was roof-jumping.
MICHIRU: It congealed like Jell-O.
HARUKA: Or else she just slashed her wrists...

and warming her up

against the cold wind. The wind picks up and nearly sweeps her away.

MICHIRU: To Oz! To Oz! Let Glinda the Good Witch deal with this moron from now on!

She decides that it is highly unusual for this high wind and decides to

investigate, tomorrow.

HARUKA: How many times do we have to correct this girl? "She decides that these high
winds are very unusual; she will have to investigate tomorrow." It's not that hard to avoid
run-on sentences. The semi-colon button is right next to the 'L' on the keyboard!

She left for her home.

*****

The watcher turns and leaves through a dark portal. There

they report to their dark masters...

SETSUNA: And begin to use 'His Dark Materials'.

*****

Goku seeks Kami and King Kai's aid in Crystal's situation.

"Kami, King Kai, Crystal refuses to return." Goku informs.

HOTARU: {King Kai} I'm never seen outside of the Otherworld, but for this fanfic, I'll make an exception!

"That is a horrible sign Goku." Kami replies.

HARUKA: {Kami} King Kai and I wanted to kill her ourselves!

"It is indeed Kami. Crystal is one of our fiercest warriors with

almost unlimited powers.

SETSUNA: Make the OSIS stop! Make it stop!

Only she is limited in experience. If we had

more time to train her, she would have been fair more superior

MICHIRU: ...FAR more superior...

than you

can ever imagine.

HOTARU: But Crystal, of course, doesn't care about saving the world.
MICHIRU: She can't be bothered to protect the innocent. It isn't any fun.
HARUKA: But Advanced Algebra? Tons of fun!

We must get her back for our continual training for

her.

HARUKA: This is the training that doesn't end! Yes, it goes on and on my friend! Somebody started kicking me and it really hurt! But we can't stop, we'll never stop be-cause...
SETSUNA: "We must get her back, so that we can continue training her."
MICHIRU: The grammar is atrocious. I almost want to stop trying.

Her boyfriend will also help us, but we don't know where he is."

King Kai explains.

"He's dead." Goku informs.

"How?" King Kai says, worriedly.

HOTARU: I think that King Kai would react in a much wilder way. He'd scream, "What?"
and start shouting that things were a disaster.
MICHIRU: {King Kai} King Yema didn't tell me that! And he records everybody who lives
and dies!

"He died protecting Crystal against some evil." Goku replies.

SETSUNA: (singing) Parrot Man, Parrot Man! Repeating things like a parrot can! Is he a freak, or is he a dunce? Why can't the readers learn things just once? God only knows. Parrot Man!

"On no. If he has died, then who will help her regain her

training? We have to train her for this confrontation." King Kai says.

"It is too late. It has begun." a silhouette says, stepping from

the shadows.

HARUKA: I am Shang Sung!
HOTARU, MICHIRU, and SETSUNA: In-ter-nal Kombat!!

"Oh?" Kami questions.

"I am Eternal Sailor Pluto, guardian of Time." Eternal Sailor

Pluto introduces.

"Really?" Kami questions.

MICHIRU: {Kami} I? Can? Only? Ask? One? Word? Questions?

"Hai, the confrontation has begun. She will meet their warriors

soon. You don't have much time left. Hurry." Eternal Sailor Pluto

warns before disappearing into the currents of time.

SETSUNA: I've never been to the world of the Z Fighters, and I really wouldn't want to.
Far too much property damage.
HARUKA: Plus, all that yelling and straining? Those guys are going to rupture their colons
if they don't calm down!

To be continued...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. More AN! What will they

do? Who is Crystal's fiancé?

HOTARU: You must have the attention span of a gnat if you are unable to answer that question.

Will they meet again?

ALL: NO!
MICHIRU: Crystal becomes extremely depressed and kills herself again.
HOTARU: Or else she angsts out and starts self-mutilating.
HARUKA: Then the story will be over!

Find out next

time. I love e-mail. Send it to sailorbluestar@hotmail.com. JA NE!

Sailor Bluestar aka Crystal-san

SETSUNA: Last one out gets viewscreen duty!